We’ve gotten into the terrible habit of watching movies each night after dinner.  Yes, I LOVE movies and feel like an escape into the entertainment world after a long day is a perfectly fantastic idea.  However, it presents several problems for me in my life.  First of all, I desperately long to read more.  The only time I really have in the day to devote to this beloved past time is in the evenings.  Second of all, watching television or a movie is rather isolating.  Yes, we are sitting next to each other on the couch, but no real conversation or interaction is taking place – other than me requesting a back rub or a foot rub!  Finally, movies are lengthy….this means I end up going to bed way too late and sacrificing the sleep that I feel I should be getting.  99% of the time I don’t sleep anyway – BUT, I at least like the idea of going to bed and retiring for restoration at a reasonable hour.  It simply makes the idea of rising in the morning that much more manageable and even enticing.

Last night we visited our familiar Redbox kiosk and rented The Perks of Being a Wallflower.  This was a darling little cinematic escape.  Well, darling is not the right word…it was touching and enjoyable.  It was relatable in many ways, heart wrenching, and heart warming all at once.
The film was written, directed, and produced by the author Stephen Chbosky.  He is a talented man.  There were a few quotes that certainly resonated with me last night and STILL have me thinking this morning.

“please believe that things are good with me, and even when they’re not, they will be soon enough. And I will always believe the same about you.” 

• I have people in my life that believe this for me.  It makes a tremendous difference to me.  They hand me the Light when I am simply unable to grasp it for myself.

“It was the kind of kiss that made
me know that I was never so happy in my whole life.” 

• Remember that kiss?  Oh breathe in that kiss…

“Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense.” 

• There are things about me and my life that I so desperately want to change.  I see the outcome in my head, but simply stay trapped somewhere in between the first stepping stone and the last.  Tell me how to be different in a way that I can comprehend so that I can walk the journey rather than stand in the center, confused.

“I am both happy and sad at the same time, and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.” 

• I love this.  It can be so very true.

“I just want you to know that you’re very special… and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has.” 

“If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don’t want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it, too. I want them to be able to do whatever they want around me.” 

• There is nothing more true to life than being true to yourself.  Vulnerability.  Transparency.

“There’s nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons.” 

• There have been times in my life when I laughed so hard that I wasn’t quite sure I would ever be able to come up to breathe.  Those have been some of the very best moments in life.

“we accept the love we think we deserve.” 

• Profound.  While many of these statements may seem dark and depressing, I believe them to be very true and uplifting.  We read into anything just what we feel we need to hear – and we accept just what we believe we deserve.
  

“Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.” 

• This is my favorite line from the movie.  I spent most of my adolescence as a wallflower, watching and wishing.  I am just now learning that we can all wish and wonder, but we must participate.  Fulfillment and enjoyment in this Life and this Gift we were given require participation.  Thanksgiving for all that Life has to offer and all the opportunities to participate.