If you have not yet treated yourself to the Ted Lasso series on Apple + TV, you must stop what you are doing right now, put EVERYTHING DOWN, and commit yourself to the 23 episodes so far released. (Season 3 is set to come). It truly is THE BEST SHOW EVER.
Nothing will ever compare to this genius piece of work.
(I will BUY you a month of Apple + TV, just so you can watch this feel-good show).
“What Would Ted Do?”

Ted Lasso is over-the-top enthusiastic, and his attitude ripples and floods the lives of those whom are lucky enough to interact with him.
He’s positive. He’s WICKED smart. He’s quick. He’s persistent. He’s human in every way. And, he make you feel good.

There’s not one character in this show who I do NOT want to be. (That’s a lie – there is ONE). Anyway, you MUST watch, enjoy – laugh, cry – and overflow with the energy of positivity, thanksgiving, and enthusiasm.

Ted Lasso is a gift to the world.

One of Ted’s gifts (other than simply swelling your heart), is his ability to WOW with morning “biscuits.” Here, in my neck of the woods, we call these tasty bites “Shortbread Cookies.” (I could go to TOWN on some Walker’s shortbread or Girl Scout Trifoil cookies any day of the week). And, my own version of shortbread is pretty darn orgasmic, as well.

After a lengthy interwebs investigation, I found a few copy cap recipes for Ted’s famous cookies.
The Today Show claimed to have “THE” recipe.
Most of them do not differ much from what I’ve established as shortbread perfection. However, in my research, I decided to opt for a different route – room temperature butter rather than melted butter. I also cut down (just a touch on the sugar), did NOT add extra salt or vanilla, skipped the baking powder, and (you’ll understand from the Season 2 finale when Ted has a rough morning and mixes up some salt for sugar), added some coarse, crunchy bourbon salt.

You’ll understand – “Sneaky Salty Bitch” Biscuits – Heather Locklear – or Ted Lasso Biscuit Shortbread.

No matter the label, these buttery biscuit cookies will be your new favorite. The aroma, the taste, but also the memory of all your favorite characters in TV Land – those whom you WANT to believe are your friends and your soul mates. Ted, Coach Beard, Roy, Keely, Rebecca, Higgins, and even Jamie. Oh, don’t forget Sophie and Sharon.

I love you all.

Ted is persistent. Let’s give him that.
Even though Rebecca turns him down upon the first delivery of morning biscuits, he keeps it up. And, he wins her over.

Biscuits with the Boss

Rebecca – Good morning, Coach Lasso.

Ted – Hey, look at us. Couple of worm-addicted early birds, am I right? Well, I’m glad I caught ya. I brought you a little something. Yeah. Cookies. Or as y’all call ’em here, biscuits, right? Though, I do not recommend you smother these in gravy.

Rebecca – Ted, I don’t really…

Ted – Come on now. Take a lookie there. -Those do look good. -Right? Go ahead, take a nibble. That’s it. Away you go.

Rebecca – Fuck me. Where did you get these?

Ted – I’m glad you like ’em. You know what? I’ll start bringing these to ya every morning. Call it “Biscuits with the Boss.”

Rebecca – That really isn’t necessary.

Ted – Okay, well, mark this down as the first time we disagree then. Actually, no, second time. Tea is horrible. Absolute garbage water. I don’t know why y’all do that. Anyhoo, you know, we can’t really be good partners.

PERSISTENCE

Then, Season 2 Finale – Ted has a particularly rough night (and, consequently tough morning) and adds a bit too much salt (swap the salt for the sugar). And, this is what happens:

Rebecca – (eating a biscuit) Oh, God. These taste like sh1t.

Ted – Oh, yeah. Well, it was a rough night, and I am now absolutely positive that I switched the salt and sugar. I’m sorry about that.

Rebecca – No, no, no. WAIT. (continues to taste the biscuit) No, it’s interesting. She’s a sneaky, salty bitch.
Ted: – Like Heather Locklear on Melrose Place, right?

Higgins – Oh, yeah.

Keeley – That’s exactly how you’d describe her.

Rebecca – (savouring the biscuit) Oh, Heather.

Sneaky Salty Bitch Biscuits (Ted Lasso Biscuits – Shortbread Cookies)

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup (2 sticks) salted butter, room temperature
3/4 cup powdered sugar
2 tsp. coarse, crunchy (whisky) salt

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Sift flour and salt, mix into bowl and set aside.

Mix butter on high speed (stand mixer or hand mixer) until fluffy (3 to 5 minutes).

Gradually add sugar slowly, continuing to mix until pale and fluffy.

Add flour all at once and mix until combined.

Butter a square pan or line with parchment.

Pat and roll shortbread into pan, no more than 1/2-3/4″ thick.

Top with coarse salt (SNEAKY SALTY BITCH).

Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

Score into rectangular biscuit cookies.

Bake until golden and make sure the middle is firm, approximate bake time 45 to 60 minutes.

Cool completely. Finish slicing and serve in pink little gift boxes. (Sorry guys, I couldn’t locate the little boxes in time to post!)